Aidilangelo.com

In A Vacuum
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science and Nature.

Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?”

She thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or off?”

Blonde Logic
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking… and one blonde says to the other,

“Which do you think is farther away… Florida or the moon?”

The other blonde turns and says “Helloooooo, can you see Florida ..???”

Watch dog
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”
“HELLLOOOOOOO…… ,” answered the blond. “They’re watch dogs!”

State Capitals
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, “Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them.”
A friend says, “OK, what’s the capital of Wisconsin?”
The blonde replies, “Oh, that’s easy: W.”

Till death do us part…
The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, ‘YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE’.
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, ‘From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and you will please me the way I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?
‘The wife replies, ‘The funeral director would be my first guess.’….

Innocence
A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively asked the lady, “Why is your stomach so big?”
She replied, “I’m having a baby.”
With big eyes, he asked, “Is the baby in your stomach?”
She answered, “He sure is.”
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, “Is it a good baby?”
She said, “Oh, yes. It’s a real good baby.”
With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked,
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*
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“Then why did you eat him?”

Wife
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After the check-up, the doctor took the wife aside and said, “If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die”.

1. Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood.
2. At lunch time, make him a warm, nutritious meal and put him in a good frame of mind before he
goes back to work.
3. For dinner, fix an especially nice meal, and don’t burden him with household chores.
4.Satisfy his every whim.

On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor had told her.
“You’re going to die,” she replied.