Blonde Buying Curtains

A blonde walked into a store to buy curtains.

She went up to the salesman and said, “I want those pink curtains to fit my computer screen.

The salesman mentioned, “Computers don’t need curtains.”

The blonde said, “Hellooo.. I have windows!”

Susie & Her Teacher

Teacher: Susie, make a sentence starting with the letter ‘I’.

Susie: “I is …”

Teacher: “No, no, no, don’t say ‘I is’, you say ‘I am’”.

Susie: “OK, I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”

Blonde on The Roof

How do you get a blonde on the roof?

Tell her drinks are on the house.

Crying Lady Gaga

How do you make Lady Gaga cry?

Poke her face!

Blonde Arrested

A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop. The cop walked up to her window and asked, “Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?”

The blonde said, “I’m sorry sir, but wherever I go, there’s always a tree in front of me and I can’t seem to get away from it!”

The cop looked at her and said, “Lady, that’s your air freshener!”

Fanmade trailer untuk upcoming movienye. Lawak, sbb dibuat menggunakan clip2 dari movie berlainan dan di edit menggunakan after effects. Worth a look! :black:

Pelakon2nye adalah:

– Brad Pitt as Lion-O
– Vin Diesel as Panthro
– Gigi Edgley (Farscape’s Chiana) as Cheetara
– Hugh Jackman as Tygra (Man)

Bebaghu nie aku ditemukan dengan 2 mp3 yang menarik n berkaitan dengan Perak. Antare due ni yg mane laie besh tak dapat le dipastikan. Ape kate kome layan sendighi n tentukan. Lirik disediakan bagi kome yang teghingin nk berkaraoke musem2 tengkujoh nie. Sebarang pembetulan lirik, sile add komen yeh.

Unknown Artist – Pak Ude

Singgah bermalam ghomah pak ude
Makan nasik sayo keladi
Bio pape asei bergaye
Aseikan senang di dalam hati

Peram-peram pisang
Pisang masak layu
Jatuh dalam lubang
Sambo bapak yu
Umbut2 nyor belalang kedek2
Sape buat hingo
Ghontu kene cubet

Daghi lambor pegi ke bote
Singgah bermalam ghomah wan lebo
Hajat hati minang anak dare
Dapatle jande ghambotnye gugor

Peram2 pisang
Pisang masak layu
Jatuh dalam lubang
Sambo bapak yu
Umbut2 nyor belalang kedek2
Sape buat hingo
Ghontu kene cubet

Tojon daghi keghotak bote
Dapat sebijik doyan dah mangko
Disangkekan ayor dalam belake
Jatuh terjombap di ateh pasyor

Peram2 pisang
Pisang masak layu
Jatuh dalam lubang
Sambo bapak yu
Umbut2 nyor belalang kedek2
Sape buat hingo
Ghontu kene cubet

Daghi lambor pegi ke bote
Singgah bermalam ghomah wan lebo
Hajat hati minang anak dare
Dapatle jande ghambotnye gugor

:miao: Donlot Unknown Artist – Pak Ude

The Meus – Kaghey

Semasa aku kecil
Ku masih ingat lagi mempunyai ramai kawan
Bermain di padang
Dari petang hingga senja kalau balik lambat tentu kena

Waktu keghantung bunyi
Aku berlari-lari terus menuju ke madrasah
Lepas waktu blajar marhaban dan jugak berzanji
Untuk persembahan di malam kenduri

Masa kecilku di kampung kaghey
Masa kecilku di kampung kaghey

Sblah sane kampung loh
Sblah sini kampung enggor

Masa kecilku di kampung kaghey

Dekat kg aku ade sebuah pekan kecil
Namenye pekan kaghei pekan enggor
Akupun tak tahu ape name pekan itu
Ikut sukalah deme nak gelo

Balei polis name kaghey
Pejabat pos name enggor
Itupon aku tak sedor
Kadang2 kene leghei
Deme tengah betengkor
Sbb pekan kaghei seghope pekan enggor

Masa kecilku di kampung kaghey
Masa kecilku di kampung kaghey

Dalam sikit kampung peghonyang
Dalam lagi kampung jawang

Masa kecilku di kampung kaghey

Kalau nk mandi sungei pegi bawah geghotak
Abg mesti ikut bersama
Kalau pergi bersorangan ataupun dengan kawan
Balik nanti tentu kene tali pinggang
Kalau nak tengok wayang pergi ke kuale kangsor
Bandar kecil bandar dighaje
Nak tengok cerite hindustan
Stat pukul 2 tunggu pukul 9
Beghebut2 deme di panggung wayang

Masa kecilku di kampung kaghey
Masa kecilku di kampung kaghey

Dah besor duduk kl
2taun terkiye2

Masa kecilku di kampung kaghey

Mase skolah menengah
Jalan ulu keneh
Sekolah Ghaje Mude Muse
Tingkatan 4 skolah clifford
Dekat dengan malay college
Yang tak boleh bertentang mate

Sekolah GEGS sekolah budak pompuan
Buah hati budak kolej budak clifford
Budak kolej stoken panjang
Budak clifford stoken pendek
Budak kaghey pakei kaen pelikat

Masa kecilku di kampung kaghey
Masa kecilku di kampung kaghey

Ceh jangho keghandi peghonyang
Ceh melenggo skali tak menang

Masa kecilku di kampung kaghey
Masa kecilku di kampung kaghey
Masa kecilku di kampung kaghey

Mok geliong kunci tanah megah
Teman ceghite jgn mike maghah

Masa kecilku di kampung kaghey

:miao: Donlot The Meus – Kaghey

Imuda – An Evening in Paghit

Kalau tuan ke negeghi la teman
Jangan lupe beli buah le tangan
Pasu sayong buah deghoyan singgah dekat Bote Kanan
Bote (3x) kanan

An Evening in Paghit

Penduduk yang paling ghamei
Semua tempat deme tinggei
Dinding, Lumut sungguh peghmei
Batu Gajah belum sampei

Bandor dighajer di Kuale Kangsor
Sungei Peghak memang besor
Pekan Tambun tempat askor
Nak berkelah ke Pulo Pangkor

Amat terkenal dengan bijih le timah
Hasil bunyi juge pokok le getah
Oghang kaye ghamah tamah
Bile lalu ajak singgah
Buat daku (3x) ramah

An Evening in Paghit

Pekan Paghit sudah maju
Banyok kedei dan jalan baghu
Jambatan moden xmacam dulu
Tergoyang-goyang bila lalu

Bandor Ipoh ibu negeghi
Taman indah menaghek hati
Limo Tambun senang chaghi
Tepi jalanpon buleh beli

Jangan lupe beli buah le tangan
Pasu sayong buah deghoyan singgah dekat Bote Kanan
bote (3x) kanan

An Evening in Paghit

:miao: Donlot An Evening In Parit

Rajinikanth jauh lebih popular, jauh lebih berpengaruh, dan jauh lebih lama menyumbang kepada masyarakat Malaysia, kaum Tamil khususnya.

Filem Tamil bukan sahaja kelakar, bahkan menyentuh hati dan mudah dihadam. Filem Tamil memaparkan pergolakan kaum, kesempitan hidup, jurang ekonomi dan kenegaraan.

Berbeza dengan filem Hindi yang lemas dalam fantasi, dan recycle aspek percintaan terhalang, cinta antara dua darjat dan seorang kawan yang sanggup mengorbankan cintanya untuk teman rapatnya.

APA KEJADAH INI SEMUA?

Kita dengan penuh rasa hormat menggesa mana-mana kerajaan negeri untuk mengurniakan gelaran datuk kepada Rajinikanth.

Berikut adalah senarai tentang mengapa Rajinikanth patut diberi gelaran Datuk :

1.Beliau makan gula-gula getah dengan penuh gaya.

2.Beliau mempunyai misai yang lebat dan sungguh menawan.

3.Beliau berjaya menumpaskan menteri-menteri yang korup.

4.Beliau mempunyai pengikut yang ramai.

5.Sudah masuk penjara pun, masih bergaya.

6.Bila bergaduh, mesti menang walaupun menentang berpuluh-puluh orang.

7.Berjaya mengumpul berbilion-bilion wang dan membina universiti, kolej, jalan raya, hospital dll dalam masa yang singkat.

8.Kalau tackle awek confirm dapat.

9.Boleh mengelak peluru.

10.Pastinya akan mendapat sokongan daripada seluruh rakyat Malaysia dan beberapa orang menteri yang lain.

(Dicedok dan diolah semula dari blog tertentu. Identitinya tidak boleh didedahkan tanpa kebenaran empunya blog.)

In A Vacuum
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science and Nature.

Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?”

She thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or off?”

Blonde Logic
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking… and one blonde says to the other,

“Which do you think is farther away… Florida or the moon?”

The other blonde turns and says “Helloooooo, can you see Florida ..???”

Watch dog
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”
“HELLLOOOOOOO…… ,” answered the blond. “They’re watch dogs!”

State Capitals
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, “Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them.”
A friend says, “OK, what’s the capital of Wisconsin?”
The blonde replies, “Oh, that’s easy: W.”

Till death do us part…
The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, ‘YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE’.
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, ‘From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and you will please me the way I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?
‘The wife replies, ‘The funeral director would be my first guess.’….

Innocence
A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively asked the lady, “Why is your stomach so big?”
She replied, “I’m having a baby.”
With big eyes, he asked, “Is the baby in your stomach?”
She answered, “He sure is.”
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, “Is it a good baby?”
She said, “Oh, yes. It’s a real good baby.”
With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked,
*
*
*
“Then why did you eat him?”

Wife
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After the check-up, the doctor took the wife aside and said, “If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die”.

1. Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood.
2. At lunch time, make him a warm, nutritious meal and put him in a good frame of mind before he
goes back to work.
3. For dinner, fix an especially nice meal, and don’t burden him with household chores.
4.Satisfy his every whim.

On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor had told her.
“You’re going to die,” she replied.

01.If all the nations in the world are in debt(i am not joking. Even US has got debts), where did all the money go? (weird).

02.When dog food is new with improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought).

03.What is the speed of darkness? (absurd).

04.If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking).

05.Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows).

06.Can you cry under water? (let me try).

07.Why do people say, “you’ve been working like a dog” when dogs just sit around all day? (I think they meant something else).

08.Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows.)

09.Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell).

10.Can you get cornered in a round room? (by ones eyes).

11.What does OK actually mean?.

12.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight I will stay and watch).

13.What came first, the fruit or the color orange? (seed).

14.What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments).

15.If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? (can somebody help).

16.Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes you can).

17.Why is it called a “building” when it is already built? (strange isn’t it).

18.If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it? (got to think scientifically).

19.If you’re traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens? (I didn’t had a chance to try).

20.Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? (very nice).

21.If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? (this is nice?).

22.Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can’t go that fast on any road?